Voodoo Laird

Witch Doctor, Ships Surgeon

When Cannon-Ball Katy first encounted Voodoo Laird in Haiti, it took her a moment to realize that he was human. Over 80 percent of his body was covered in extensive and provacative body tattoos, his beard reached his waist, and he was chained to a tree. A little investigative work revealed that Laird was a powerful and well know witch doctor who had refused to concoct a love potion for the island's governer. As punishment, he had been chained to a tree and was soon to be executed. Katy rescued him and together they hid in the hills surrounding the city. After shaving his beard and removing his tattoos with a home-made concoction of trinitrotoluene, rum, and vinegar Laird shared his story.

Although his parents were Scotish, Laird had been raised in Japan. As soon as he was old enough, he joined the crew of a whaling ship, where he quickly rose in rank until he was first mate. At the end of one season, after unloading their blubber at South George's Island for processing, Laird's ship collided with an iceberg and promptly sank. Only Laird had had the presence of mind to jump from the ship to the iceberg as the ship was baptized in the frigid antartic waters. He survived aboard the iceberg for two and a half months by eating icicles and penguins. The iceberg was just larger than a wagon when it finally crashed into Tierra de Fuego, Argentina. After walking up the Chilean coast to Peru, Laird decided to recreate Orellana's historic and tragic voyage by canoeing down the Amazon River. Four years later, when Laird emerged from the mouth of the mighty river, he knew more tribal medicine and voodoo-craft than any human alive.

Unfortunately, his paddle was lost as he left the river and he was swept out to sea. By now well accustomed to surviving in such conditions, Laird subsisted on fish and seaweed until his canoe drifted to Haiti, where he set up shop as the islands most powerful witch doctor. After being rescued, Katy and Laird married and purchased three children from Inca gypsies. They then moved to Happy Valley, where Laird works at the Big Hospital when not hunting for treasure.